Back in the olden days when I planned weddings, I was googling my company's name one day and came across one of our brides. It was on a famous wedding site (that one. yes, you know the one I'm talking about) and said bride had created a profile (yeah, I really do not want to be easily searched by those who frequent the site so we're going to call it a profile). Of course I was fascinated by this so I clicked on her username and began reading her posts. Since I was doing this at work I, of course, called my coworker in to see.
The bride had a GORGEOUS wedding. Stunning. Amazing. She was quite popular, especially among those who were similarly profile obsessed. She was also quite popular among some haters who didn't necessarily agree with some of her extravagant wedding expenses. She had a premier wedding photographer. Her pictures are unbelievable. There have been times since then where I've seen her pictures used in inspiration board and wedding posts across the net. Everything was top of the line. The pictures, the registry, the elaborate nature of the wedding, the professions of love, everything, everything, everything announced how amazing and perfect things were.
The biggest disconnect we saw was in the bride's review of the wedding. The discussion of how her guests proclaimed it to be the best, most amazing wedding they had ever seen was what sent us over the edge and into a fit of laughter. HARD LAUGHTER. She used the word 'amazing' a lot.
During the planning we found that the bride was nice, a little overly detail oriented which is kind of comical in the wedding industry because there are a lot of things that guests never, ever notice. The elaborate plan for the wedding day was bound to be awkward, and this was mentioned, but she had a vision.
Unfortunately I can't give details because this wedding will live on in legend and would be easily identifiable if I gave specific details of what happened, but, well... The guests didn't exactly enjoy themselves. It is the only wedding I have seen, or heard of, where the guests were royally pissed off. Angry. Some were even ballistic. Let's just say that the guests didn't eat for nearly 12 hours. It was a very expensive destination wedding where none of the guests were actually able to experience the destination. And wow, I need you to trust me that this is only the tip of the iceberg. When the group finally arrived at the reception hours late, it still required an intervention from the staff and family members to allow the guests to eat before the bridal party was done with all of the dances and such. Oh, and that was after some guests left to go get food. (My company was only involved in the reception.)
There were so many, many things that when I talk about this (one of my many cocktail party tricks) I have to reinforce that really, this all happened at ONE wedding.
I think the only way to fully express how awful this wedding is this: my dad, who cannot remember my date of birth, can recall details from this wedding.
The website, however, spoke of perfection. Of this wonderful day. It's true they did get married and I'm certain the ceremony was beautiful. And yes, that is the most important part of the day... but... There's no mention that they royally screwed 200 guests over. The people who fawned over this bride have no idea how angry she made family and friends during the process. My coworker and I were mesmerized by how this account of the wedding was so bizarrely detached from the reality of the day. I often say that you have to overlook the little things on the wedding day and just enjoy and remember the importance of the day. But... these things the bride said... they were... not true. Perfection doesn't typically include people hating you at the end of the day, you know?
Recently I've found myself rolling my eyes at different parts of the internet when people get a little... braggy. Or, even worse, when I feel like people are trying to push their agenda of how perfect their life is down my throat. I remembered this story last week and it reminded me that when people are writing on the internet, they're telling a story. They're telling the actual story of their life, or they're simply telling a story. Nothing is actually perfect and the more you try to prove it, the further from the actual truth you are. It was a nice kick in the pants.
Oh, one other little detail that was excluded in the tale of the amazing wedding on the fawned over profile and posts: it was all originally planned with a different groom in mind.
*Note* for those who are truly interested in the details, e-mail me.
Two things about this post that I LOVE:
1. The you point out how annoying it is when some people try and cram down your throat just how perfect their lives are. This is hard for someone like me who takes people at face value and then starts to wonder why isn't my life so damn perfect and full of unicorns and butterflies.
2. That this wedding? Was originally planned with a different groom. Love that you slipped in that final detail that just made it all the better.
Posted by: Chris | January 26, 2009 at 09:59 PM
This story was fantastic. Thank you for sharing it. I bet you were in disbelief at seeing her write about her "perfect" day.
My guests being happy is one of the most important issues to me when I envision my future wedding. Not putting on a show.
Posted by: Angela @ Lost In Splendor | January 26, 2009 at 10:13 PM
Hm, this story kind of sucks to me. If you can't share the details of what made it so bad, why bother telling the story. That's like making boiled chicken and telling of a the plan for an amazing recipe you made once.
Posted by: Heather | January 26, 2009 at 11:32 PM
Umm...I think the idea is still intact without the incriminating details.
Also, that analogy kind of sucks to me.
Posted by: Angela @ Lost In Splendor | January 26, 2009 at 11:47 PM
I obviously want more detail...I think you somehow haven't told me about this particular wedding. You know my gmail...use it!
Posted by: Mer | January 27, 2009 at 09:13 AM
Um, Heather, that wasn't the point of the post. Your reading comprehension skills seem to be off. You're supposed to read until the END of the post.
I too hate people who shove their perfect lives down our throats. If your life was so perfect, you wouldn't be telling us every damn second. You're overcompensating. Because life sucks sometimes. Which makes the good things in life that much sweeter.
Posted by: Kristabella | January 27, 2009 at 09:58 AM
What an interesting story. I love hearing about what really happens behind the scenes of events like that.
Posted by: rachel | January 27, 2009 at 11:49 AM
I'd love to hear more details. I became really good friend with my wedding coordinator and she had some dozies to tell about!
Also, if you have a recipe for boiled chicken, it would be much appreciated. Thanks.
Posted by: TUWABVB | January 27, 2009 at 01:25 PM
I am so facinated and want to know more!! I really really love a good crazy bride story. I am currently planning my wedding, and I am stunned, STUNNED at some of the details that many brides care about and the guests will never ever notice or care.
Also, TUWABVB- chicken recipe request made me laugh out loud.
Posted by: serror | January 28, 2009 at 01:25 AM
such a good writer! I love how you saved the best for last.
I will definitely email to get the details.
Posted by: AmyH | January 28, 2009 at 12:53 PM
Wow!!! And yes, I totally get the whole picture. I don't ever try to sell my life as perfect, but I have read blogs that do. Ick!!! And I'd love details too. I've been watching that show where all the weddings are huge and beautiful and they spend over 100K just for lighting coordinators (wtf?) and then another ton of money on a "loungelike atmosphere". And all I can think about is how soon they will be divorced. Because, really, how can you live up to that when real life gets in the way....
OK, I'll shut up now.
Posted by: Sheri | January 28, 2009 at 03:26 PM
Seriously-I need links to read more. I am bored at work and need some entertainment. I always read those bios on the Knot and was in awe, but there is always an ugly side, and my nosy nature gravitates to that. Please email me!
Posted by: Laura | January 28, 2009 at 03:49 PM
Please email me the details, I too am planning my wedding.
You're such a great writer, you really know how to set a tone, and deliver at the end.
Posted by: Kim | January 29, 2009 at 12:23 PM
You are being featured on Five Star Friday!
http://www.fivestarfriday.com/2009/01/five-star-friday-edition-39.html
Posted by: schmutzie | January 30, 2009 at 04:10 PM
This is one of the most interesting blogs I have read. I was hanging on your every word. Of course I want the details and am sure you have crafted them in a standard email. I will email you for them. I found you on Five Star Friday.
Posted by: Chad | January 30, 2009 at 08:53 PM
A different groom? Wow. Oh, and I would LOVE to have the details. CRAZY.
Posted by: sassy | January 31, 2009 at 04:28 AM
Oh I would love to have the details. Hopefully the email will come through with the comment.
Posted by: Preppy Chemist | January 31, 2009 at 05:39 PM
oh shut up! For a different groom? Dang girl. I would love to get the details, too.
Posted by: HollowSquirrel | February 01, 2009 at 05:45 PM
By the by, I've given you an award. Come visit me to claim it.
Posted by: Kim | February 04, 2009 at 01:55 PM
Oh dear. Can I tell you that I've been to weddings when the exact same thing has happened? It wasn't as long as 12 hours, but there was a 2 hour wait between the end of the wedding and the beginning of the reception because the bride wanted to go to all the scenic places in Seattle ON A WHIM and take pictures. While we waited, and waited, and waited.
Posted by: kirida | February 04, 2009 at 04:27 PM